I was 8 years old, in a suburb I did not belong in, North End Port Elizabeth, comparable to Brooklyn Cape Town, as a result of my parents’ not so amicable divorce.

 

My afternoons were spent wandering the streets in search of electronic parts, wood, chemistry related objects to either build or experiment with. I enjoyed the streets, but not the glances of people I did not relate to and did not see myself having any contact with, I was scared of them, and scared to go home after 5 pm.

 

Then one day in an open field that was strewn with rubbish, I saw a large box, it must have been a box for a large appliance that was dumped there, I decided to climb into the box like most kids would, only to find a magic as I closed the lid.

 

On the opposite side of the box I saw an image of what was happening outside, like a movie I was watching the outside world. It was upside down, but I soon found it more interesting than the reality outside.

 

I did not know at the time but I was inside a `camera obscura`, something had pierced the cardboard next to where my head was and the light passed next to my head and projected an image of the outside world in front of me.

 

My world had changed, I could be safe, watch them and be alone. I spent days in that box, every afternoon after school I could not wait to be there, until one day the box disappeared, someone had taken it. I was very disappointed and started looking for another box.

 

On a Sunday afternoon I found a similar box in a backstreet of the more industrial area, but there were no people to watch. I sat for hours, I still enjoyed the safe place.

 

Then I decided to take the box over the fence and place it in the middle of the road in one of the streets, it was scary, but exciting, cars would fly by, people would walk by and occasionally a child would kick it, but I felt safe, I had a secret, it was my possession, no other person in the world had discovered this upside down world, the distance between myself and them and the knowledge of their secrets made me feel special. 

 

Today I realize as in the words of Diane Arbus ` Photography is a secret about a secret` 

A secret can make the difference when you have nothing else to protect you. Today I still try to create those secrets in my photography, how will they ever know I was watching and learning all their mannerisms and anticipating their every move to make a good ` secret`.